Motivation when depressed

TW - discussion of suicidal ideation! If you feel like this, please speak up! 🤍

I get stuck in the loop of having a great couple months and then slowly things will start piling on again and I lose all motivation and find it really hard to be happy.

I have diagnosed depression and I am medicated, but I still feel like I am failing. I struggle to take care of myself and look out for not just my mental health, but my physical as well. I put on nearly 20 kilos last year. Some of it was finding the right meds but mostly it was me not giving a shit about what I ate. I didn’t want to be around anymore so it was hard to think about my future and how I would feel later on. My university degree becomes harder and harder with each semester and I just feel that fog in my brain that makes it next to impossible to achieve anything. I feel like no one takes it seriously because I seem so happy on the outside.

I genuinely just feel hopeless so often that I just don’t know how to motivate myself.

I want to get fit again, I want to do well at uni, I want to be able to prioritise my friends and my health.

Any advice?