Starting to resent her

Partner (39F) and I (40M) have been together a long time and have two beautiful children under 5. She has always suffered with her MH and I try and be as supportive as possible but just recently it feels like her moods and selfish behaviour are just too much to cope with.

I feel like my entire being is dedicated to keeping her happy, although she never really is, and I feel like the opposite almost never happens. My needs and happiness are never considered because hers eclipse everything. There is always a drama or conflict of sorts going on, usually around her job which is well paid but exhausting. I do all the cooking and general household & family organisation because she just doesn’t want to donor think about things that don’t interest her.

The children are hard work. We get next to no support from family so we’re reliant on each other but I seem to end up doing more early mornings and bedtimes because she simply doesn’t seem to be able to handle it without getting angry or calling out for help.

If I try and do anything on my own to keep myself sane, I’m get texts within minutes of leaving the house complaining about the children, or her job or the neighbours, which then essentially ruins the time I’m having as I can never really switch off from it.

I know professionals would always say to blame the disease, not the person but the selfishness and angry outbursts are so hard to manage.

I don’t want to leave her and tbh, financially and family wise it’s near-on impossible anyway but it feels like my life is on hold whilst she’s in this state.