Having a wife with depression feels like being married to one of those awful husbands you read about of so many parent groups.

My wife is on meds and seeing a therapist, and feels bad/guilty about not being able to do as much as she wants but so much of the load gets put on me. When she is in a good mood she can be a great partner and mother, but it feels like the stars need to align for her to be happy.

But....

Every time she gets sick it is sooo bad, aka the man flu.

Can't watch the kids for more than 2 hours without snapping and feeling overwhelmed.

After the kids go to bed, needs to spend the entire evening winding down, almost never has energy for cleaning up the house or prepping for the next day once the kids are asleep. Does most of her chores either taking breaks from work while working from home or when I am solo parenting with both kids.

Sleeps in later than I do 90% of the time because she has insomnia and also mental health is so much worse when tired.

Constantly has to pass the kids to me, because a toddler acting like a toddler is too much and she can't handle it.

Constantly playing games on her phone to distract from reality. Probably a few hours per day total now.

Mostly venting here. It's been a rough week, but this has been off and on for a while.

I try to make time for myself, but between work, kids, and keeping house in order there is only so much time in the day. I'm seeing a therapist too.