I am conflicted with myself. struggling, and contradicted w/ lifestyle.

I am conflicted with myself. Please help a girl out.

Im 19, I've had a kyocera duraxv + (works great!) for approximately 1 month, and a nokia 280 for 1 aswell (it broke lol). With this in mind, I had a really big understanding of how sad the world is as everyone in this community knows. lesson learned with having these phones. But I can't fully say that this is genuinely for everyone.

I bought a garmin and thrifted a camera with the motive that I was making a lifestyle change. IT TAKES ALOT to make me spend money, and this epidemic convinced me. And still carry my smartphone for authenticator and checking the stock in the ambulance. I have spent loads of money on this lifestyle and have gotten incredibly lost without maps too (when I didn't have the garmin). this seems 'maximalist' instead of minimalist. ( regardless its meant to be inconivenent.)

God, I just got a new job and it seems I am making a questionable impression with my coworkers that I am just beggining to become friends with. My father says its a phase, and after hearing the comment from a coworker WHOM I RESPECT ( with his social skills, idk anything else) said "I see it as pointless and inconvenient." Meanwhile he is playing games on his phone. Even just typing that out just saddens me. Some people do say its cool though!

If i do go back to a smartphone.. do the habits stay? I want to say yes, but I think of it as an addict, when you just have one taste all things will click into place. I would like some peoples perspectives with this. I have T-minus 5 days left before I can return this phone. I am getting pretty hesitant to return.