Ruining the fun for everyone

UPDATE: In a move that no one saw coming, we decided as a group to do a home game on Sunday's instead. It's been an ongoing thing where they shunt us off to the side any time something is happening and the host of the Sunday Drop-In event got sick of it. He talked to a few of us and asked us if we wanted to just make it a weekly home session instead. Honestly, having more control over volume, space, and who is playing at our table sounded too good to pass up, so as of this coming Sunday, we will no longer be doing DND there.

I DID speak to the bartenders there and pointed him out. It's up to them to decide how they want to handle it now.

EDIT: You all are absolutely right. I need to bring this up to management to address if it continues to be an issue. This is an event that means a lot to the people who are part of it, and we want to make sure everyone is comfortable and actually WANTS to come back. I'll be bringing it up on Sunday.

I started attending a drop-in D&D night at my local board game bar, something I’d always been interested in but never had enough friends to play. After going weekly, I got hooked. The host of the event has since become one of my best friends, and now we run a twice-a-month home game where I’ve been DMing. I’ve fallen in love with TTRPGs and branched out into other systems like Mothership, Ten Candles, Kids on Bikes, and Monster of the Week. Through this, I found a community where I truly fit in and made lifelong friends.

The host ran a homebrew campaign set in Neverwinter involving werewolves that lasted about six months. Most of the players were returning week-to-week because we enjoyed the story and got along well. It was going great, and those same players are now part of our home game. But then Tokka showed up.

Tokka is the stereotype of a bad D&D player. He arrives with a carrying case full of supplies he never uses, smells bad, doesn’t wash his hands, chews with his mouth open, and is just generally unhygienic. He min/maxed his character after learning about the campaign, and constantly "Um Actually"-ed the DM, even after being told that the rules weren't strictly by the book. For example, our DM allowed drinking a potion as a bonus action unless it was stored in a backpack. Tokka argued about this for nearly five minutes before being told to stop or leave.

He also spent most of the game on his phone, only paying attention when it was his turn, and even then he’d take forever to catch up. If he wasn’t interested in the roleplay, he’d wander off to look at the board games on the wall. His disrespectful attitude toward the group got on my nerves. We started showing up an hour early to fill the table and force him to pick another group to play with, which worked most of the time, though he caught on and started coming early too.

Eventually, the DM had a talk with him about his behavior. While hygiene and table manners weren't something we could address, his playing habits improved for a bit, and the campaign wrapped up without too much more issue.

After that, I started DMing my own homebrew campaigns, and the feedback was mostly positive. I’d been able to avoid Tokka sitting at my table—until last week. I was running a spooky one-shot where the players had to save a village from an undead necromancer. Tokka decided to join that week and, as usual, min/maxed his character based on the overview I gave the players.

Everything started well enough, but once combat hit, Tokka went back to his old habits—correcting every other player and arguing over rules, even after I told him to stop. He sat on his phone most of the time and, during his turn, decided to use a QR code to order food in the middle of combat. After the session ended, I talked to my friend who hosts, and he pulled Tokka aside for another talk, giving him a final warning and advising him to avoid my table in the future.

I do feel bad for Tokka because it seems like he may not have many friends or much experience in social settings like this, but his behavior makes it really hard to play with him. I hope the conversation helps him realize how disruptive he's been so he can participate better without derailing the game or trying to be a rules lawyer.