ExChristian married to MAGA

I’ve changed a lot. After two years of deconstructing several beliefs, I’m now an exChristian democrat (28F)…and I’m married to the biggest MAGA/Ben Shapiro/Joe Rogan/ Matt Walsh fan you’ve ever met (30m) and he’s a Christian. When we married, I was a “socially-acceptable” libertarian (we live way down South) so at the time we married, we had some disagreements but nothing too vastly different from each other. Deconstruction hit me hard in the past couple of years and I’m in therapy for that.

We have two kids together (5f and 2F) and he’s a good father, a good provider and supports me pretty well with household chores. But over the past year we’ve discovered that we cannot talk about religion or politics because we end up arguing— and he tends to go straight into loud angry personal verbal attacks on me whenever they come up. He’s said to my face that my ideas are bullshit. He ended up apologizing for that but the scene just keeps replaying in my mind. He really does think that the things I believe are stupid, even disgusting.

A lot of things happened to me since the election and I can’t even talk about them with my own husband because not only does he fundamentally disagree with my political opinions, he disagrees so strongly that he ends up screaming and yelling at me.

He came with me to a therapy session to talk about my deconstruction and he seemed to think it was just a phase I’ve been going through. Sometimes I can’t tell if he’s trying to be supportive or just patronizing, or just a good masker with his true feelings.

Sometimes I wonder if our marriage could even survive. I catch myself thinking about what I would do if I had to live on my own and to be honest, it doesn’t sound unappealing to me. I’m a different person than the 22 yo girl he married 6 years ago. And it feels like there’s a chasm in between us called Christian Trumpism.

Anyone have any advice or suggestions or have been in this space before?