I don’t even know what to do.

A few months ago, I started watching content critical of the WT, and it was truly eye-opening. For the first time, I saw the darker side of what I thought was such a “kind and precious” organization. The problem is, I’m only 15, and I’ve been struggling mentally, praying and crying for help, only to feel like there’s no response. That made me finally build up the courage to tell my parents I no longer want to preach or attend congregation meetings for Jehovah.

Unfortunately, my parents are adamant that I have to stay in the organization until I’m “mature” enough to make that decision. It feels so unfair—if baptism is considered a mature step, why can’t I decide to leave? The constant involvement in the organization is draining me, and I have privileges I don’t even want. But of course, I’m forced to fake it just to get through.

I even asked my parents to involve the elders to see if they can give me a way out, but I don’t know what to say to them or how to handle this. I’m desperate to take back control of my life and leave what I now see as a controlling environment. Any advice on what I should say to the elders or my parents? How can I handle this?