This cult is OBSESSED with SEX.

NSFW because I reference things my bishop told me as a kid.

If it hasn't happened already, I'd bet money within my lifetime they'll take the stance; "We would never ask a child personal questions about private matters. We leave that up to parents to address."

Meanwhile as a 12/yo kid my 50 something/yo bishop is like:

"Tell me more. What exactly did you see?"

Here's my shortened story; When I was around 12 I saw a cartoon depiction of boobs on a game website I liked to play after school. I felt so guilty after a lesson we had on porn and repentance, I told my bishop that day after church.

"What search terms do you like to use? Don't be shy, we're both dudes here. Have you heard about this search term?"

He threw out some words I won't repeat here, but they'll never leave my brain. No, I hadn't heard them, but I'd eventually search for them! One was so obscure it even helped me get past the internet filters my Dad tried to set up in our house. Thanks, bishop.

"Tell me again what you saw. Was it boy on girl? Boy on boy? Girl on girl? Let's get specific. Do you know what this term means?"

Ok, so for context I didn't even know exactly how sex worked yet. I definitely wasn't aware of all the possible gender configurations. Again, all that curiosity wasn't there until this meeting.

"Do you touch yourself? Where? How exactly? How often? What do you think about? Do you do it so you can fall asleep? Do you do it in the shower? How many times a day?"

This was also ALL new info for me. Wasn't aware that was a thing I could do. Didn't know there were so many reasons to do it.

"I think you need to come talk to me every Sunday at 4pm for the rest of your childhood. I'm the key and the only way for you to get back to HF."

Alright so obviously I'm paraphrasing all of this, but it's really not too far off from how the whole conversation went down. I did end up meeting with him weekly. I went home with IMMENSE guilt and shame. I carried that for well over a decade. This man became my stake president and I continued to meet with him weekly for YEARS. I never once was able to get porn off the brain because he was there to remind me it was the most important thing to think about. He even asked me to text him if I ever got tempted. I never got to this level because it felt icky even after all this, but the invitation was always there. I was supposed to text him and be like "I'm thinking about doing the thing, help."

I finally got away from him on my mission for two years. I'll never forget the meeting when I got home. I was SO excited to tell him about my progress. I had gone over a year and a half in the mission field without ever doing the self regulatory deed. Was he happy for me? Did he give me a congratulations? Nope. This was his response pretty much word for word:
"Well, I don't mean to scare you, but I'd say about 90% of elders relapse within 2 weeks of being home."

No shit? I don't doubt it. Maybe it's because... I don't know... as a church we obsess over this topic and keep it on people's minds 24/7?

HOW does an adult man feel ok about this kind of weekly interaction with a CHILD let alone who knows how many kids in his ward/stake?

This cult is so, so, so sick. It's such a dangerous place for kids.

Porn was not a "problem" "addiction" or anything else in my life. The problem I had was leaders being ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED about everything porn for well over a decade of my life. I felt evil, I was constantly compared to a drug addict and I believed it. They sent me to 12 step groups as a little kid with volunteer missionaries teaching the guilt fests.

I felt guilty every single day for so many years. Everything bad that happened in my life I attributed to slipping up and looking at boobs at some point in my recent past. I kept a calendar. I reported weekly. Every time I slipped up, I had a compulsive need to go share it with my current leadership because I was so afraid I wouldn't have the special imaginary friend to keep me safe if I didn't.

If there's one thing I'm most happy to get away from, it's this absolute obsession with sex. This cult is not normal. So happy my kids won't have this experience with mormonism.