life feels pointless without islam

what’s the point anymore? genuinely i just don’t know anymore. i (19f) am a closeted lesbian agnostic athiest in a hardcore conservative muslim household. i live in the usa so yes i have the privilege of leaving and moving to another state & starting a new life. but even if i leave i will never feel happy without the support of my parents & family. i will never be able to marry a woman and have my parents or any of my family there for me. i will never be able to comfortably express my religious beliefs to my parents without them abandoning me. most of my friends are muslim too so coming out would cost me all of them. i will never be fully happy in life. i don’t really believe in an afterlife. so what’s the point?