I feel like I’m in a nightmare

Not looking for advice necessarily, I know it’s probably for the best but my head is spinning and I’m wondering if anyone can relate to my specific scenario? My gf (27F) of 3.5 years has been hospitalized three times this year, twice with psychosis. She was diagnosed bipolar this year and was rapid cycling during her most recent hospitalization.

She discards me every time she’s hospitalized and it was honestly becoming normal to me but this last time has broken me. She was hospitalized on Nov 30, and released on Dec 19. Her longest hospitalization. Since then, she has broken up with me. She told me she is not in love with me anymore but still loves me, but also says she might come back and all this other vague crap. She has also decided she will be moving back home with her grandparents 1.5 hours away, leaving me with the lease.

She’s dug herself a financial hole and although I’ve tried to help her many times, and offered solutions (including taking on most of the financial burdens she’s under), she has decided to leave, move home, and try to figure out herself there. It just feels like a complete 180 to our relationship? She sounds herself when she talks, but outside a few moments of sadness she has lacked any real emotion towards the situation although I’m a wreck. When I point it out she said she grieved in the hospital. Wtf is happening?? My world feels like it’s ending so suddenly.