Critique my style [Near-future low fantasy, 1256 word chapter]

Looking for critique on prose, structure, character, and integration of worldbuilding. Reposted because I didn't like the title of the last post

Magic system: called Prana, uses magic minerals called Sand to activate personalized powers. Enforced by special police nicknamed Witchfinders.

Setting details: takes place in the diverse capital of the Republic of Ouatan (inspired by West Africa & Medieval China), which is in a centuries-long cold war with its neighbour, the Charakan Federation (based on Sasanian Persia and Aztec).

Plot/characters: Focuses on the naively optimistic space enthusiast and astrophysics student Aemir joining Starfarer Tourism to achieve her dream of reaching space. Her codependent pessimistic girlfriend joins to support Aemir. Their mutual pragmatist/engineer/fashionist friend Leyla joins too (for the money).

Sleep

In her dream, Aemir was, once again, being hunted. This time, some kind of creature clambered after her on all six through a pitch-bright, snowy forest. Its body shifted its composition each time she dared a glance over her shoulder. This time, it was a spine made of chattering chitter-bugs, chomping forth with an amorphous jaw made of steel and black. Eventually, inevitably, Aemir tripped over a puddle of air, sending her sprawling into the sand.

Next thing she knew, the monster was upon her. “Access denied: you will not see the stars,” the birdlike creature mewed seductively before it punched her in the nose.

In the waking world, Aemir caressed her aching nose. Somehow, Maria had completely turned about in their cot, her head now resting on Aemir’s feet, and Maria’s feet in Aemir’s face.

“What a weird dream,” Aemir muttered to herself.

“It wasn’t a dream.”

Aemir yelped at the sudden voice behind her. It was just Leyla, face slightly aglow from the backlight of a reader-tablet. Aemir relaxed, slid her feet from under Maria, and sat up across from Leyla.

“So you’re telling me the spider demon with the sexy voice was real?” Aemir said flatly, unconvinced.

Leyla just blinked at Aemir. “Are you well?” Leyla said, with the same cadence as a “what the hell is wrong with you?”

Aemir chuckled. “What are you doing up so late again?”

Leyla said nothing, eyes still trained on her reading. Is she avoiding me? Aemir wondered.

“Leyla,” Aemir prodded. “Come on, what’s up? I won’t force you, but you know you can tell me anything. It’s not like I’d get mad.”

Leyla was silent for a while. But when Aemir was about to concede the discussion for another day, Leyla put down her tablet.

“I’m reviewing a report,” Leyla said.

“For the project?”

“No. Work.”

“Ah, the power plant?”

Leyla went quiet again. Aemir had never seen her this non-talkative. Was it tiredness, or something else? Aemir wanted to ask again what was wrong, but she feared that prying again could start an argument.

Finally, Leyla whispered, “Can you keep this a secret?”

Aemir tilted her head, puzzled. “Of course,” she said, then leaned in and dropped her voice to a whisper. “What is it? Is it girl stuff?” Aemir couldn’t keep from smiling at the childishness of the words. Girl stuff was the old euphemism Maria and Leyla used to use when they were too embarrassed to talk about dating, sex, and puberty. Aemir, not being a girl, was rarely privy to the details—but she always knew the gist.

Leyla stared blankly. “Absolutely not. I'm not twelve anymore. It’s not that. It’s—” Leyla sat on her hands and stared into the dark of the breakroom. “You know how my parents stopped paying my tuition fees this year? They got investigated. Their business is being completely screwed over by the war with Charak. Can you believe that? Treated like spies—invaders—in our own country. Now that I think of it, my family’s probably lived here longer than Kuoamei has! But anyways, I’ve had to work three jobs.”

Aemir’s brows rose. “Three?” She exclaimed, but cringed at the volume once Maria twitched in her sleep. “Three?” Aemir whispered, sharp with disbelief. “How do you even have the time for that? On top of the project? What about your health?”

Leyla shook her head. “That’s what I’ve been meaning to tell you about, but I need you to keep this a secret.”

Aemir wasn’t sure why Leyla couldn’t tell anyone else. Was she worried the crew would ask to help? Could it be that she didn’t want them to distract from the project just for her? She was never one to like being pitied. Oh, Leyla. But despite her questions, Aemir nodded.

Leyla let out a sigh and lifted her shirt to expose a bandage on her rib. Four dark spots seeped through. Was that a bite mark?

“I went to the desert to see if the rumours were true. That if you feed yourself to the beasts of the desert, they’ll offer you power.”

“Leyla,” Aemir sighed, the words accidentally coming out whiny and pitying. Leyla lowered her shirt and crossed her arms. Aemir winced.

“I’m not proud of it, but I was desperate. I was drunk and thought ‘surely whatever magic it blessed me with could help make some money.’ I was right, fortunately—if I Crush Sand before bed, I can sleep for half as long but still feel twice as rested. But—”

“What about the Witchfinders?” asked Aemir, voice taut with dread. “What if they catch you? Haven’t you heard what they do to illegal Sand users? Besides, where did you even get Sand?” Aemir stymied her onslaught, holding back the rest of her questions upon hearing Leyla’s sigh.

“That’s why I need you to keep it a secret,” Leyla said. “I only need to keep using it until Starfarer Tourism lets me collect my share. After that it’s no more Sand, no more ability—like nothing ever happened. I can’t do this alone, but I don’t know who else I can trust.”

Aemir didn’t know what to say. On one hand, Aemir would do anything for Leyla. She knew Leyla would do the same.

But the Witchfinders were ruthless. Just last month, they were all over the news again, gloating about their recent catch. A Charakan immigrant had gone around using his powers to burn random Ouatani citizens with an unerasable handprint, and was hunted for months until before inevitably being put down by the Witchfinders.

But then, Aemir realized something. Leyla’s power was much less flashy than setting people’s faces on fire. No one would even realize—no one had realized—that Leyla’s “insomnia” was from a Prana ability. So long as Leyla stayed cautious, there was basically no way she’d get caught—so there was no reason not to help her.

“I’ll help however I can,” Aemir finally said. “Just tell me what to do, and consider it done. We can get through this.”

“You're sure? Even with everything else on your plate?”

Aemir had to think on that. But Leyla's big amber eyes felt wrong making a pleading look. “I'm sure.”

“Thank you so much, Aim.” And Leyla was in Aemir’s arms.

Maria shifted behind her, and it reminded Aemir how late it was. Way too much thinking for nighttime.

“I guess I’ll see you in the morning, then,” Aemir said.

Leyla only nodded her assent. She stretched to reach behind her cot to the far wall and began unscrewing the electrical socket plate. Aemir watched, enraptured and perplexed. Carefully, Leyla reached past the wires to pull free a glass vial. When Leyla sat back up, Aemir saw that it was filled with light orange-brown grains of Sand. Leyla popped the lid and squeezed a pinch of the Sand between her fingers. Immediately, a faintly vibrant yet translucent flame unfurled to life around Leyla’s body.

Aemir’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets. She’d seen Prana auras tons of times on the news and in crime films, enveloping criminals, Witchfinders, and soldiers alike. But to see one coming from Leyla of all people was insane. In fact, it was…wrong.

Leyla rehid the vial in the wall and finally laid down to sleep. “Good night,” she bade.

Aemir was still worried. About how little sleep her friend was getting. About what could happen if the Witchfinders caught onto them. But she managed to reassure herself that it was going to be okay.

She trusted Leyla.