Judge the opening scene of my novel with some of the backstory for one of the main characters, Carn. Story takes place 10 years after this scene. [high fantasy, 467 words]
The blue-green grass swayed steadily in the breeze.
The black Scion Mountains enclosed the world.
Carn awoke in the shade of a warm, white, willow tree.
He had dreamt of something rather important, he thought to himself, but just then a drop of water hit him right in between his eyes. He decided, unconsciously, to focus on his waking world.
“Is it raining again?” He questioned, aloud.
“We were finally getting some nice weather today.” He wined to himself, silently.
He knew rain meant his mother would call him in.
He looked, through the twisting branches and mangled leaves of the willow, to try to identify the spilling container.
It grew dark above and around him, the once gentle breeze now violently tossed the grass in all directions.
Carn hopped to his feet and brushed off the dirt, grass, and twigs which clung to his clothes.
The cool breeze felt nice in his hair and on his skin. He looked himself over one more time and, satisfied, turned towards home.
He began walking when he remembered that he had dreamt.
“Oh, yes! What was it… There was a…”
But again, as he attempted to think back to his dream, something in this world caught his attention.
He noticed that his house, which was not a minute’s walk from where he had slept, was apparently not in the area which was about to experience the storm. In fact, there on the grass, not 12 feet in front of him, was a clear line between the darkness and the light.
“How strange… I guess a storm must end somewhere.” He reasoned.
He turned around to examine the storm more intentionally.
“Carn!!!” Came his mother’s voice from behind him.
But he could not hear her.
His body tingled with electricity as his eyes took in the scene.
The storm, more violent than Carn had thought any storm could be, was being ushered into their village by an army.
Hundreds of men, all bearing the armor of clouds, prepared to deliver the storm.
Before Carn could snap out of it he was swept off his feet.
He found himself stuffed into the closet in his mother’s bedroom; one of his favorite spots for hide and seek.
“Carn.” Said his mother, as calmly as she could. She continually glanced towards the front door as she spoke.
“I need you to stay right here. Do not move until I come back and do not make a sound. I love you, Carn.”
With that said, she kissed his head, held his face in her hands, then took off towards the front door.
Carn sat in silence, still unsure of what was going on.
She slammed the door shut behind her with so much force that Carn worried the storm was now upon them.