Am i really trans?

I never wanted to be a man to be trendy. At first I just didnt know you could be trans I just went along with what everyone told me I was. I didnt feel bad dysphoria at first but it got worse. I wanted to be a normal cis man, more and more. I also just wanted to be man because it felt nore right to ne. I couldnt stand looking at my body or hearing my voice anymore. Everytime I do, i feel like im going insane. I just feel gulity that I realized the way I did because I didnt know these things until puberty and I wish I just figured out normally and not like this and I do want to be biological cis man and Im not comfortable with being a woman and none of this seems like social influence. I dont just hate women or something and I dont think being trans is cool or that being a man is "better". I just wanna be a dude.