What made you certain you wanted top surgery [neurodivergent]?

Title. ETA 2: i am largely interested in people who did not "always know" and struggled with the decision

I'm neurodivergent if that's relevant. On T for 9 months, egg cracked 2 years ago, well over 18. Top surgery scheduled for July. Going through a bad flare of my connective tissue disorder rn and medical shit is a headache. My resolve to get a major surgery is in flux. What made you realize you wanted top surgery, or at least helped you come to terms with wanting it?

ETA: i have asthma, a torn rotator cuff, and hEDS and can't bind or use tape. it's been ~6 months since I could bind and i've never been able to go more than 2 hours with a binder.