TW I miss my ED

This time last year I was in res for anorexia. Now I’m pregnant, not exercising more than a super active job, and eating what I want when I want it (and sometimes having to force myself to eat dinner because I know my baby needs it even if I don’t want it). I’ve gotten really bitter/envious about seeing people with thin thighs out in public, I’m horrified for anyone to see me and how huge I am, and all I can think is how desperately I miss my ED. I know I can’t turn back to it because it won’t be good for my baby but how can I stop missing it..?