How to not feel broken

I've been doing better now since I tried to get over my sexuality at the end of high school after ignoring the issue for like, 5 years. As far as I can tell I'm pretty gay. Girls don't really do anything to me. Sometimes I'll think a girl is pretty, then run into some guy I find attractive and immediately remember oh yeahhh THAT'S what it feels like as my brain momentarily Windows errors.

It's just like, I can't help but sometimes feel like I should just "drop the act", or something, and be normal. What the hell is the point of not feeling attracted to the people I'm "supposed to".

But like, what if I could just, be into women at one point? What if I'm just lying to myself again? I don't think I am, but the part of my that wants to be normal doesn't spot nagging. What if I find somebody later and have to do all this bullshit over again?

I know I'm just being stupid but it just sits in my mind sometimes and I don't even have anything to fight it with. It all just sits.