Open letter to the parents of Junior Golfers : Please take 5 minutes to read
I’m writing this post because this issue hits close to home, not only in my journey as a golfer but also in how it has shaped my personal life. If you're the parent of a young golfer, I urge you to take five minutes to read this.
I picked up golf at a young age, competing locally in the U10 division, nationally through U18, and even internationally in U16 and U18 tournaments. At my peak, I ranked just within the top 300 on the World Amateur Golf Ranking (WAGR). My girlfriend, on the other hand, had an even more impressive career. She was part of the national team, became the national champion in the U12, U14, and U16 divisions, and attended an academy in the US at just 12 years old. She went on to play at a top Division I school, with a stroke average of 72.2, and won multiple major events in Europe and the States.
We’ve played hundreds of tournaments between the two of us, and in fact, we met at a tournament when we were just 9 and 11 years old. Every hour outside of school was spent on the golf course. On weekends without tournaments, we would often play short game challenges from 9 AM to 6 PM.
Golf consumed our entire lives, yet our experiences couldn’t have been more different. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of playing—it was my passion. My girlfriend, however, hated every second of it. Now that her collegiate career is over, she has decided to hang up her clubs for good.
You might wonder why our experiences were so different. The answer is simple: our parents.
My girlfriend’s parents were the type who never missed a tournament, never missed a single shot. They traveled almost every weekend, spent a significant portion of their salaries on top-tier coaches, the best equipment, and sending her to a prestigious academy in the US.
On the surface, it might seem like they were doing everything possible to give their daughter the best opportunities. That’s what everyone on the outside thought. But the reality was far from it.
The truth is, they placed an immense amount of pressure on a child who just wanted to enjoy the game. Every bad shot was noted by her mother, and she had to explain herself after the round. If she shot above her handicap as a 12-year-old, she wasn’t allowed to watch TV. During practice rounds, her mother often caddied for her, and if things didn’t go well, she’d get angry and say terrible things. After a bad tournament, her father would tell her she needed to train harder, reminding her that they were spending a lot of money on her career and that she wasn’t doing enough.
This pressure crushed her mentally. She now needs therapy and is on antidepressants. She wakes me up in the middle of the night after nightmares of missing a 4-foot putt to win a tournament. Can you imagine that? Her literal nightmares are about missing a putt. Do you understand how tragic that is? She is now no contact with her parents...
After growing up in tournament golf, you quickly realize that this situation is common—so common, in fact, that it’s almost the norm. I’ve seen parents miraculously “find” balls that were clearly 50 yards out of bounds. I’ve witnessed parents swearing at their kids mid-round. I can’t even count the number of times I played with a kid who ended up in tears, terrified to face their parents after a less-than-perfect round.
Some parents might point to Tiger Woods as an example of how tough love and relentless pressure can create a champion. Yes, his father was notoriously hard on him, pushing him to the brink in pursuit of greatness. But let’s not forget the toll it took on Tiger as a person—his struggles off the course are well-documented. For every Tiger Woods who makes it, there are thousands of kids whose spirits are broken under similar pressure, leaving them with emotional scars that can take decades to heal. The reality is, for one Tiger Woods, countless other young athletes are left questioning their self-worth, burdened by the weight of expectations they were never meant to carry.
The sad truth is, this isn’t about golf anymore. It’s about the damage that overbearing, demanding, and harsh parenting can do to a child’s spirit. It’s about how the pursuit of success can turn into a nightmare when it’s driven by fear instead of love and support.
Do not push your dreams onto your child.
Every missed shot or bad round is not a failure—it's a chance for growth. The way you respond as a parent can either build your child's confidence or break their spirit.
Choose wisely.
EDIT 1:
Many of you wanted me to share my experience, so here it is:
My parents never forced me to go to the course when I didn’t want to, even if I had a tee time booked
They listened to me and kept me at my local course that wasn’t the most prestigious thing ever even if I was offered a fancy membership at a country club so that I could stay with my friends
“There is no bad tools, only bad artisans” my fathers favorite saying. I didn’t get new clubs all the time, it made me enjoy the new stuff a lot more until I got “sponsored” and stopped paying for clubs. I played with golf balls I found going through the course after my practice
They didn’t push tournaments on me, large amateur championship 4h or a 4 men scramble at my local course, I could chose whatever I wanted to play. Nearly no other junior was able to do that