I feel so worthless sometimes

I hate the way I look, my grades, and just everything about me sometimes. I hate my acne, and my weight, and my hair, and just my face. I hate myself when I say the wrong things or mess up. I hate how I get distracted so often. I hate how I can't focus on anything. I hate when I keep procrastinating things. I hate how I'm so fucking shy. I hate how awkward i am and how hard it is for me to talk to new people. I hate that I think i actually have a chance with people who are way out of my league. I hate that I'm nothing compared to so many girls i know who are so much prettier than me. I hate that i can't remember anything. I hate that I'm not good at anything. I'm bad at sports, I'm not that smart, I'm not pretty, or fun. I hate that i have no passion. I hate how I'm so boring. I hate that I can't commit to anything. I hate that I'm a horrible person. I hate how mean, how shallow i am sometimes. I hate that I'm not enough. I hate that I'm a disappointment to my mom. I hate that I get so paranoid sometimes. I hate that i'm a liar, a cheat, a bad friend. I hate that I'm just a nobody pretending to be someone else so people will like me. I hate that i'm faking the sympathy, i hate how i can’t seem to feel bad when i should. I hate that sometimes i feel like a fucking sociopath, or at least a selfish asshole. I hate that I'm a people pleaser. I hate that my self worth depends on what other people think. I hate that I can't even love myself. I hate being me. I hate that I'd kill myself a thousand times just to be who I want to be, and look the way I want to.