New player here, played 2 hours, it was a miserable experience, is it normal ?

Hi, as an avid milsim player (arma 2-3, tarkov ect..) i was really hyped about squad, people said that the community was very friendly and helpful toward new player among lot of great things.

Well, first game i was in a squad with people who seemed to know what they were doing, but there was no overall "planification" or direction given, the squad leader put a green arrow, made us construct a "FOB" (?) we walked a bit, captured a point, then we went up a roof, died of an explosion, got revived, got re-killed in the same way, then the commander left (i think) and there was no more direction or coms, so i was just completly lost without a clue on what was going on or what i was supposed to do. Then the match ended. Overall i just followed a bunch of dude then died.

Second game, it took like 10 minutes to decide who will be the commander of the squad, a guy with a very bad mic made us all embark in a truck, we seemingly drove in front of an ennemy tank, barely survived, then followed a small wall, when a tank killed the whole squad with a single shot. Afterward every member of a squad seemed to do their own thing, i asked the (new) squad leader what was going on, to which he answered that he was "f*cking my mother" .. great.

In the lobby i asked the same guy why he said that, when most of the lobby started saying "f*ck french people" "french people gay" ect.. (apparently my french accent is quite noticable)

Tried a third game, we played as insurgent, it was just pure chaos, no comms, no direction given, just very unfunny joke about allah and having sex with goat, then the squad leader had an argument with another player and ranted about how he drove a mustang while the other guy probably had no car (???), overall i got killed a dozen of times from i don't know where, spotted two ennemy that shot me before i could be sure they weren't teammates. and the game ended.

So ... yeah, i feel like i just tossed 20$ in the trash, and i'm honestly quite disapointed with my experience. I'm also a bit insecure about talking in online game, and this definitly didn't helped me to feel better about that.

To end on a positive note, the gunfeel is very nice, sound design is excellent, and the overall combat ambiance is here and is excellent.

So i don't know .. any tips ? Thing i should know ? Is there like some secret technic to have super games like i can see on youtube with well coordinated people and stuff ?