Determining how many calories to eat for weight loss?

28(F), 5'6, 165lbs. If these were your stats, how many cals would you eat a day for weight loss with a goal weight of 135lbs?

When it comes to weight loss for you.....is your style more aggressive or more forgiving/lenient?

I have used google/TDEE calculators to determine my own calculation, but I also have a friend who is a dietician and her numbers and my numbers were pretty different...so I'm curious what others think. I also have a pretty hard time determining my activity level. I'm a teacher and on my feet all day, and I walk a lot, but no legit exercise, so maybe that accounts for the difference in our calculations (I think she assumes I move a lot more than I feel I do).

For some more context, I was at 180, went all the way down to 120, and have since gained most of it back. My cal intake was aggressive during this time and I worry that my idea of how many calories to eat on a diet is a little warped which is also why I'm looking for some input. But I also don't want my weight loss to be at a snails pace. Thank you for any insight!