Not handling Lupus well

Diagnosed early October.

Im obviously sick (my neuropathy and joint pain is worse, ive had daily fevers for months now, swollen lymphnodes, etc).

I suddenly started to feel a lot worse about 5 days ago (a couple weeks post prednisone taper now).

Ik the logical step is that I probably need to go back on prednisone bc I feel so sick. But I dont have the willpower to say anything to my rheumatologist anymore.

It feels pointless bc there's been no real solution and my most recent labs are normal with an exception of elevated blood creatinine.

Im so tired of scans, blood tests and doctors appointments. And I fucking hate feeling like there's attention on me when doing those things due to my social anxiety. I think I'm giving up at this point.