Husband looking to show his wife a good time

My wife doesn’t like to be touched much and she is very sensitive. When I try to ask what she likes when being intimate she says “just this” or “I don’t know” I can’t make her c*m, she manages to do that if she touches herself in the process, however she doesn’t always want to. I tried to get down but she doesn’t like that either. I am mainly looking for tips to make it feel good for her as well.

Update: (response based on ur comments) - She also doesn’t like to use toys - she doesn’t like being getting down on - won’t let me - she thinks I am silly when I try sex talk and changes the subject - I do the laundry, dishes and vacuum and wash the floor twice a week - I fix things around the house that need fixing - I give her daily massages before bed or during the day and caress (non sexual) her all the time while sitting together without expecting anything after. - ages: 30F and 35M - its always been like that we’ve been together for 12 years (I tried a lot of things) - I tried touching her same way she touches herself self - she says that she feels on guard and anxious when its not her touching herself so might be while she’s the only one who can make her c*m. - she had ADHD - she had an issue when we first met her hymen didn’t break - it stretched and needed that forced surgically - it used to hurt - she says that contributes to her insecurities (trauma like)

Tl;dr looking for tips to improve intimacy