I need to cancel a client

**Editing to update and respond:**

*****I am overwhelmed by the response this post has gotten. Wow! I have completely speculated that this client has autism. I have diagnosed ADHD and am sensitive to those who are neurodivergent. I am on medication for this, which makes it very hard not to focus on what he is saying - aka I can’t tune him out. I know if this is the case that he has autism, that I need to be blunt, as I have with him when it came to talking too much past his appt time.

He talked mostly about trauma including divorce and loss of a loved one. These are things we hear as massage therapists, however we are NOT mental health specialists. I love my clients who talk with me and it helps me pass the time. There is a HUGE difference with this client and how he is speaking to me.

For those recommending headphones, that goes against my personal rules for doing massage. I think it’s disrespectful.

I am extremely sensitive to energy and recognize that his has overwhelmed me. It also makes me see that I need to be better about setting my energetic boundaries.

I am referring him to a therapist and another body worker who deals with trauma. Thanks to those who gave kind and thoughtful responses.*****

I’ve been a LMT for almost 10 years. I’ve owned my own business for 5. I’ve gotten better at setting boundaries, but this client is testing me on another level. I’m pretty positive he’s autistic.. extremely smart guy who doesn’t pick up on social cues.

Our first session… he talked to me for a solid 15 mins on the intake. I could barely get a word in and had to interrupt to get him on the table. We find out that he can’t lie face down comfortably so I switch him to side lying. The entire time he says “ow” multiple times but then tells me it’s a 4 or 5/10 on the pain scale and to keep going…

During the massage, he talks AT ME literally the entire time. I had to interrupt him to tell him the session was done.

Then.. at some point I had mentioned I had a break after his appointment (BIG MISTAKE). He talks AT ME again at checkout for literally 30 mins! I know I know… I should have stopped him and said I needed to have my lunch. But I don’t think he’s even breathing idk how someone can continue to talk like that!

So of course.. he wants to book every week with me indefinitely! Against my own judgement I book him out .. luckily it’s not for another 2 weeks bc I’m booked.

Next appt…he shows up damn near 30 mins early. I say something like “wow you’re very early, I have to set everything up and will start at your appt time. Do you need water? Etc”

I tell him straight up, before we start the session , I cannot have him talking to me for that long after his massages. He respects that but still talks the whole time during his massage. Mind you… I am not getting more than an “uh huh” or “mhmm” in.

I saw him for the third time today and I cried after doing his massage. He’s an energy vampire, I say absolutely nothing while he talks for the entire hour, I have to massage him side lying which is NOT my favorite and it just sucks!

I know old folks are lonely but damn. This is too much. He also tips well and is not a mean guy. Boundaries have been easier to hold when someone egregiously fucks up, no shows, shows up late, etc.

How do I cancel this guy? I feel like I’m going to break his heart bc he told me he’s hoping I help him live longer and all this stuff (he’s 75.. had cancer and all kinds of things happen. I got all of this on the 15+ min intake lmao).

If you made it this far, thx for reading. I know it’s ultimately up to me to put myself first, be firm with this dude etc etc. I don’t think talking to him will change how I feel when I work on him. So it feels like canceling is the only option. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so frustrated by a client ever. Oof. What would y’all do?