LMT here, with a confession/looking for advice about knowledge.

I've been doing massage for years now, I went to school, I'm licensed, have repeat clients and yet a lot of times I feel like a fraud. My school had open notebook tests and I got licensed before the MBLEX was mandatory so I find quite often I know very little about why massage works/anatomy/kinesiology/conditions. I downloaded some mblex prep apps and am learning stuff there, but that feels like learning pieces of info for a test and not a complete picture. Are there podcasts or lectures on YouTube that can help me? Like the Fuzz video (for fascia) but for other anatomy.