Request: stories/anecdotes of mathematicians who struggled mentally

Sorry if this is a bit heavy, but I do not know where else to write.

I am hoping to find some personal written works from or accounts about mathematicians who have struggled mentally. Other people who have seriously committed to their field are also welcomed.

I am currently struggling (you can save the reddit care thing, I'm okay right now) and I am hoping to find something to connect to.

To help direct suggestions, I'll provide a little context.

I am at a top N university for some 0≤N≤10. The point of sharing this is that I have serious problems with valuing prestige and I am surrounded by people of "high academic pedigree." I cannot connect with these people. I suppose it also paints the picture that I am absorbed in mathematics.

I have worsening OCD.

I have a troubled upbringing (poor, doing stupid stuff, drinking, some drugs, trauma, abuse, etc.).

edit: I believe I have incorrectly conveyed parts of the context. Firstly, I am a relatively established mathematician (early career). Secondly, my problem with prestige is that I do not care for it. In fact, I have quite a bit of disdain for the idea that one's worth is tied to their academic pedigree at all. I do not suffer from anything like imposter syndrome or the like.

Thank you.