(⚠️CW:suicide) an online friend of mine might be months away from killing herself,and i don't know what to do about it

i'm sorry if this post is misflaired,i could only add one and it's more about me seeking advice thsn it is about suicide

so here's the thing, two years or so ago i met a girl in a roleplay messenger group chat,and even the first times we talked on the spam group i felt we had a lot in common

a few days later she dm'd me to tell me something about the game and we started talking more regularly and to tell you the truth,i honestly felt on cloud 9:we were very compatible and for once i felt that i had developed a genuine connection with a woman,which is something i struggled with due to the way I was treated by some of them over the last 4 to 5 years,i feel like us cutting all ties for good would genuinely do a number on me,and the way i see it that's a good thing because i never remember feeling that way about someone

but then we had some friction,which caused us to go no contact for a few months at a time (which even if is besides the point,is something that i take full responsibility for full-stop,i'm just saying it to avoid anyone from thinking she also had a part in that:no,she did absolutely not)

the problem arises because we had a video call a few months after our first contact and she told me that she wanted to kill herself at X age,i don't remember if she said it was because her life felt meaningless or because she hadn't planned her life beyond that point - i could in theory look it up on our old chats but considering all the things that i'm about to go into, it makes me bitter so I'd REALLY rather not do it if i can avoid it

at the time that i'm writing this we are exactly 3 months and 3 days away from the day in which -let's call her- Shelly turns the age at which she said she'd kill herself and we are no contact, and even if for some it might be too long and. i. get it (it might objectively be,i'm not ruling that out) it's already making me uneasy,to the point that 3 out of 4 times that i launch facebook i do it EXCLUSIVELY to check up on her:did she repost something? is she online? no,she isn't,how long ago she was,though? it's not under her profile picture and i'm getting a mini anxiety flare-up already,let me see it in the chat...oh good,she IS online...gee,what a relief but on the other side the idea that she might be about to kill herself always lingers in the back of my head and it's honestly terrifying (she could be standing up in a chair as i'm writing this for all i know,which sadly is NOT much)

every now and then she'd start dating someone while we went no contact and i'd feel much better...not only because she's the sweetest and most noble woman i know and i think she genuinely deserves to be happy by somebody's side,but that also meant she'd have someone to fall back on if things went...south,but that's not the case at this time. I KNOW i want/have to text her,i never called that into question:i was planning on reaching out to her EXACTLY on may 7th because of a little superstition i have about doing so on a date that has ties to three numbers i consider to bring good fortune

but honestly,as days go by this situation feels like a time bomb that could go off any second because it doesn't have a clock that tells you when does it explode and i don't want to just sit on my ass waiting for this bomb to blow up on my hands...i really miss her,she's too young to die and she doesn't deserve it