I seriously hate my name.

Hi everyone, my name is Nigar. I hope you don't mind that I'm using a throwaway account for obvious reasons.

Of course, you can see why so many people would make fun of/get offended by my name, it sounds racist, but it isn't. It's pronounced Nig-aar. It's a feminine Arabic/Persian name which means "beautiful image". I was named after my great-grandmother. My parents love my name, but I don't really know if I love it.

To be frank, Arabic is one of the most complex languages out there. And a few weeks ago I saw someone post on this subreddit about being embarrassed about THEIR Arabic name, (which is not embarrassing at all, it was actually a really pretty name) so I thought I'd post about mine. For years, I've been made fun of my name, especially throughout high school. During attendance and on first days of school, teachers would take one glance at my name, make a very specific uncomfortable face and then only say my last name. Everyone in class knew my name and they would laugh and it felt like a neon green spotlight was on me during roll call.

Throughout college, I went by different names all 4 years, I never wanted anyone to find out my real name and told my professors to call me by my preferred names. I could never keep any friends because I'd be so embarrassed to talk to them because soon enough they'd find out my real name.

Anyways, I just thought I'd share because living in a Western country in today's day and age with my name is extremely difficult. For years and years, I have cried and begged my parents to let me change it legally. But they will never let me change my name because it goes against their beliefs, and they are immigrants, they don't really know/care about today's standards, and of course, it was my great-grandmother's name, so they insist that it's an honor to have such a beautiful name. But everytime I hear somebody saying my name, I want to dig myself a hole and bury myself in it and never come out.

So, be lucky you don't have a name like mine and embrace your name more!