I moved last weekend and my mom was horrible about it. I just need people that understand.

For context, I haven't lived with my family for over two years; I'm 25 and have lived with my fiance since 2022, but only about 15 mins away from my parents. Last week we packed up our apartment and moved out of state. The entire time, neither of my parents has been happy for me, but especially my mom (the narc parent). My dad's just very sad that I'll be far away, which is fine. My mom has actively discouraged talking about it and has gotten upset with me whenever I bring it up.

Both my parents came up with us, as well as my future MIL, to help move. We were exhausted from unpacking, driving, and packing up the truck from the night before. We went out to dinner late Saturday night and could barely speak to each other out of pure exhaustion. My mom fell asleep in the car to and from dinner, and then when we got back, immediately went to shower and sleep.

Yesterday morning, we had planned to get breakfast, and MIL said she'd hang back with the dog and do some more unpacking for my fiance. She doesn't usually eat breakfast and nobody thought it was a big deal other than my mom, who said something along the lines of, "You know why you should still go? So that *I* have a better chance to spend some time with you" to which my MIL declined.

I was chatting with MIL and fiance about random stuff, and my mom went to go get ready (at least that's what I thought she was doing). About an hour later, my dad tells me I need to go see my mom which is the universal signal for her being extremely pissed off. I walk into the guest room and she tells me she's going to leave. I asked her what happened and why she decided to go and she just waved her hands and said "Go spend time with your new family. Just go. Clearly you don't need us anymore, so just go since they matter more than us."

I didn't expect this at ALL, so I broke down crying from confusion and told her that I thought she was getting ready to go to breakfast, and then she laid into me for about an hour while I stood there sobbing. There was a moment where I just had this clarity that she was trying to manipulate me. She's done it before but this is the first time it's been so blatantly obvious. Even my father, who never stands up to her, stepped in and told her she was being unfair.

She told me that I was ignoring her the whole trip and made her feel invisible, and I hadn't even spoken to her since the night before (which is not true). I apologized and told her that I respect if I've created an uncomfortable environment for her and if she wants to leave. She got upset with me and said I was being pretentious by speaking to her like that and when I said I didn't understand how me respecting her boundaries was a bad thing, she told me that I constantly have a wall up around her and I can't just speak to her like a person. Cue her bringing in a bunch of nonsense about how she feels invisible and she's nothing without me & she doesn't feel like I like her as a friend.

When that didn't work, she told me that I was telling her to go by saying "I respect what you want" and "Saying you want me to stay isn't the same as telling me not to leave". She said "Not once have you even told me to set my bag down, or worried about me carrying something this heavy". She then proceeded to tell me that I should have checked on her in the bathroom to see if she was OK. She regularly is in the bathroom for an hour at a time (like at least 4 times a week). I asked how I was supposed to know and she said "You just proved my point. If you had cared at all, you would have at least asked."

I told her that was unfair, so she goes on to tell me that she keeps hoping she won't wake up from her upcoming neck surgery. She's had cancer before and a number of other health scares, and I just feel disgusted that she would stoop THAT low just to "win" the argument.

I told her that no matter what I say she'll just find another thing that I'm not doing right and that I can't be everything and cater to everyone while I'm trying to move and start a new chapter of life. She said "Well I didn't realize I was putting SO much pressure on you" and then rants some more about how nobody in her life thinks she's important (not true) and how we wouldn't even notice if she was gone.

She kept expecting me to beg her to stay which I wasn't going to do, but my fiance and MIL were on the other side of the wall and I was beyond embarrassed that they could HEAR how jealous my mom was of the attention MIL was getting. I told her that no matter what I said, she would just think I'm doing it because she said so, which she immediately replied "You're just trying to put words in my mouth that fit your own narrative." 2 seconds later when I said I wanted to try to turn the day around and be conscious of how we were treating her, she told me that I was just saying that and I don't *actually* feel that way.

There was plenty more but it was just absolutely fucking insane. My eyes are still swollen today from all the crying and she thinks all is fine just because she heard whatever she needed to hear but it was genuinely traumatizing for me to experience that. I've been in abusive relationships in the past and this brought me right back to those moments of feeling so small and like every single thing you say just gets turned back against you. I want to say I can't believe it, but honestly I would expect nothing less of her. She didn't get the attention she wanted, so she has to go and make a spectacle of something that has nothing to do with her. If you read this, THANK YOU, I really don't know how to process all this amidst the stress and cannot wait for my therapy appointment next week to talk about it.