Escape ruined. My life ruined

I worked so hard to be where I’m at. I got my bachelor degree without going into debt. I’m getting my masters. I got my first car and got approved for my first apartment on my own. I have autism so growing up with an abusive parent and autism and also growing up in a cult has been hard. I was on my way to sign my lease. When I got into a huge accident. I’ve never been in an accident before. I don’t know what happened. I looked down at my gps for a moment and boom I slammed into the car in front of me. My new car totaled. I don’t think I can afford this apartment now. Now I have to live with my parents again. I feel hopeless. I was so close. I was going to sit in my new apartment and tell myself everything they said about me was wrong. I was going to cry happy tears not sad. I was going to have full control over my life. Now I have no control over it. I feel so hoplesss. This feels like a bad dream I need to wake up from. Just when I was about to escape it got ripped for me. I can’t escape. I don’t feel capable. I honestly feel like dying. I don’t want to do this anymore.

Update: Thank you for all who replied. People like you renews my faith in humanity. You are good people and I’m grateful there are people like you in the world. I am ok now. I’m not going to die, but I am going to take a deeper look at learning to regulate my emotions better in very stressful situations. I did end up moving into my apartment and I am doing a lot better. I put a insurance claim for my car, so I think it will all be ok. Thank you for your words of encouragement I really needed them in that moment 💕