Really struggling with my 12 week old

This is more of a vent than anything. My baby is 12 weeks now and she was a pretty easy newborn for the first 4 or so weeks. She did still wake up every few hours over night, but during the day she’d nap in the bassinet for 2 hours (I’d actually wake her to eat). Overtime it turned into she would nap until I woke her but only if it’s a contact nap. And she was sleeping really well at night in the bassinet- usually averaging 6-8 hours at least once a night. Now for the last week naps are a struggle even as a contact nap. She’s reverted back to multiple overnight wakeups.

My husband is out of town on a work trip so I’m completely by myself for the first time ever. I’m just really struggling and I don’t even know that I’m looking for advice, just a place to vent. I want to enjoy her where she’s at but I’m having such a hard time. I feel like by the time it gets better she’s just going to go through the 4 month sleep regression.

It sounds so stupid to say but I genuinely didn’t think it would be this hard for this long. We wanted this baby so badly and I feel guilty that I’m not enjoying her like I should be.