I cried at work today

My bf (30M) of 6.5 years said he doesn’t know when he’ll be ready to have kids. It’ll probably be a few more years. Only problem is I’m also 30. My mom had a lot of issues medically and everything that has ever happened to her has happened to me. She had two miscarriages and then had Bell’s Palsy right after me. This was all by 29 years old. I’m 30. I can’t keep waiting like this.

I’m an RT and today at work, I walked in on my first delivery. I was so overwhelmed by mom pushing out baby and watching baby go from blue and quiet to pink with a healthy cry and being measured and diapered, then seeing how happy the parents were. I kept it together because I know how to be professional, but when I left, I went to the bathroom and cried for what felt like 15-20 minutes. I told my bf and he apologized. I doubt anything will change. My heart feels so much pain and I keep coming to terms with it and being okay with it and then I’m not again.