I broke one of the cardinal sins of Thailand. I don’t know how to feel.

Hi I went to Thailand for the first time mid October 2024 for one month.

Some personally tragedy’s occurred at home and thought this would be a good way to refresh my mind.

I was in Phuket Patong and a close friend I’ve known since childhood showed me the ropes.

I did what people expect people on holidays in Thailand do.

Tried the good food, explored a little, did some day pass things, and a lot of nightlife fun in Bangla rd and OTOP.

There was one specific bar ( I won’t mention where because then you could stalk them ) that I’d frequent and it became a safe heaven, the staff would take care of it if I drank too much and would occasionally bring women there to drink and have a good time and I got a little to close to the bar staff and band.

A little too close.

The manager introduced me to the singer at said bar, and we spoke a little, the manager called her on her day off we talked a little. She gave me her number a few days later and tried talking to her through messenger.

The bar singer didn’t seem to interested, she seemed put off by foreigners, the manager put in a good word, and my friend there and the manager go way back ( he visited Thailand a lot ).

All whilst I’d meet new women, bring them to that bar, and even the manager found me a woman one night when I was a little too drunk. It wasn’t a good look on my behalf.

But it was all in good fun. Another different woman even got up on stage and sang a song who I spent 4-5 days with before she headed back to the province.

All seems good, meet plenty of new people on my trip, but I still have 2 days left before I head home (the another women who went back to the province 3 days before I had to go home, had asked me to go with her, I refused, stating when I fall asleep you will sell my organs, as a joke, it was all good, we still talk to this day).

2 days left. What do I do, I had meet a few women and had there numbers but I couldn’t meet them until they had finished work.

So I go to the bar where the manager takes care of us. Where the singer also works who doesn’t seem interested in me.

She finish’s singing. There band is packing up, I try one last Hail Mary too see if she’d like to hang out and get a drink.

She surprisingly agreed, but not just the 2 of us, I had drinks with some of the bar staff, one or two of her band members, and her.

We hit it off, she spent the night but we didn’t f**k. We woke up and spent the whole day together before she had to go home for 2 hrs to get ready for work and agreed to hang out after she finished.

The thing is all the many other women were fun, great experiences and memories, but I didn’t really connect deeply. But from day 1 in Phuket Patong, I had a little crush on the singer, I told my friend she is incredible.

It’s my last night in Thailand. She finish’s singing, and I’m pretty drunk at this point, we go back to my room she said we won’t have sex until next time you come back.

I said sure no worries, I really did like her so I figured I’d wait.

We talked for a bit in my hotel room and we had sex. Meaningful drunk sex.

But I had to leave in the morning back.

Since I’ve been back we’ve been talking almost every day (she works nights, I work during the day, but we make time)

I think I am in love. The cardinal rule in Thailand is… DONT FALL IN LOVE.

She said she’d wait for me until my next trip in March or April.

We talked almost everyday, she will video call me when she works one of her earlier shows singing before I sleep once a week, and usually video call one another Saturday or Sunday.

Is there any chance of this being real, or am I getting played?

No I have not given her any money nor has she asked, she works 13 days out of 14 days singing. And sings during party hours. She’s been singing for ages and doesn’t like meeting new people and only opened up to me because the manager vouched for me ( I am incredibly nice regardless of me loving to drink ).

I get a bad feeling in my stomach though that I am getting played, maybe it’s just in my head, maybe I’m being pulled deep into the abyss of Thailand women and Thailand love.

I’m sorry for the long rant, it’s been weighing on me a lot. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Any advice from people who went through something similar or expats with a lot of experience with Thai cultures and customs would be greatly appreciated.

Once again I’m sorry for the really long post.

TLDR: Fell in love with a bar singer, could it be real or am I being played. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.