I had my baby! Story from an anxious person!

I delivered my beautiful baby girl via *elected c section on November 5th and I just wanted to share my experience! *elected c section due to mental health issues and a massive need to know WHEN she would be coming and what my intrusive thoughts would do to me while in labour. The pain of a vaginal delivery wasn't the issue.

From my post history, you can likely tell I was a very anxious pregnant person. This is my first baby, and I struggle with OCD and generalized anxiety disorder and have for as long as I can remember.

This pregnancy was filled with so much anxiety, worry and dread after months of fertility treatments to get pregnant (the fertility treatments were even harder). I kept having this doom and gloom feeling every step of the pregnancy which is really not abnormal for me because I often feel like when good things happen to me, the other shoe will drop.

Anyway. My c section got moved from 8am to 12pm. The anesthesiologist I met with the day before was a complete dipshit and did not make me feel good about my c section decision.

Morning of my section, I was so calm. To the point where my husband kept asking me if I was okay. I was. Went into the OR around 12:45 because they were a tad behind. Didn't seem to phase me. Got onto the operating table, they did my freezing needle... which wasn't pleasant but the stinging was the worst part. Then they started the spinal. That's where I was uncomfortable because it's a lot of digging around and then my blood pressure tanked and I felt super sick and sweaty. I kept it together. They laid me down. Brought my husband in, started working on me and i just laid there. My husband continously asked me if I was okay and I was..., and then my beautiful healthy baby girl was born. The video is beautiful and I cried from absolute relief she was here.

The nurses brought her over to the warmth station and she wasn't changing to pink as quickly as they wanted so they called the NICU nurse team in, I still laid there calm as could be. No freaking out because I just knew she was in good hands and she was going to be okay.

They gave me my baby and wheeled me to recovery. She was hungry and making some grunting noises so the nurse wanted to be extra cautious and called the nicu team again but they said she was fine. She was just hungry.

Anyway. The point of this long post was to let anyone know that what will be will be and I wish I had never stressed through out the pregnancy.

My daughter is perfect and sometimes I cry while looking at her because I can't believe she's mine.