18 Weeks Pregnant and Unsure: How Do I Decide to Continue or Not?
TL;DR: I’m 18 weeks pregnant and torn about whether to continue. I’ve always been unsure about having kids, and my current relationship and mental health aren’t ideal. I’m scared of regretting either decision but need to decide soon due to time limits. Any advice or insights?
----
Hi everyone,
I’m 18 weeks pregnant and facing the hardest decision of my life. Here’s some context:
- About me: Mid-30s, financially stable, supportive partner, close family and friends, not religious / very much pro-choice.
- Relationship history:
- My last relationship lasted 12 years but was partially toxic. My ex was controlling and had a diagnosed narcissistic tendency.
- I broke up with him and quickly started dating my current partner. We’ve been together 2.5 years, but I’m not sure I love him enough or if I’ve fully moved on from my ex.
- How I got here: I’ve always been ambivalent about kids. I thought I was ready, tried once, and got pregnant immediately.
- Pros: From a practical standpoint, everything is aligned. My partner and I are financially stable, have good jobs, and live in a home that could easily accommodate a child. My family and close friends would provide strong emotional and practical support. Physically, the pregnancy has been manageable, which has made this part of the journey easier.
- Cons: Even with external stability, I feel emotionally fragile. I’ve been grappling with regret and fear about whether this is truly the right path for me. I also question my relationship with my partner; while he’s kind and supportive, I’m not sure he’s “the one”, which makes the idea of bringing a child into this dynamic feel selfish or reckless.
Abortion after 22 weeks isn’t an option where I live, so I’m running out of time to decide.
How do I figure out what’s right under this pressure? Any advice or personal experiences would mean a lot <3