Accepting that my mom knows the effect her words have on others is... difficult

I've always told myself she doesn't enjoy hurting others, but that's not really true if she knows her words hurt other people and she says them anyway because they hurt and it makes her feel "above" them. She doesn't just not feel guilty. It makes her feel GOOD. Sometimes she just doesn't care, but sometimes she feels good about making others feel bad. She doesn't just say things either, she says things she knows will hurt that person in particular. It's not just out of anger. She is making the active decision to hurt them. She can't handle being beneath anyone or making a mistake or being blamed for her behavior. If someone even suggests she might be at fault, she gets angry, only a lot of the time nobody ever accused her. Because she accuses people of things that weren't anybody's fault, clearly other people do the same to her. She doesn't just say things in the heat of the moment. She thinks it through and says what she knows will hurt. Unfortunately I can relate, but I am not like her. I do everything I can to avoid hurting others. I take no pleasure from it, I feel guilty. And if I do fuck up, I always, ALWAYS apologize. My mother is everything I don't want to be and I refuse to be like her.