I’m posting on this Reddit thread because I just need to vent as they say you can’t choose your family

I feel like my whole life I’ve been perfect or near so.(not exactly by choice) I’ve never touched drugs never been a rebellious teenager…in fact quite the opposite. I had a physical condition when I was younger which forced me to undergo a couple of surgeries where I couldn’t walk for a year and had to relearn every physical movement after. Before that I constantly went from dr to dr and spent half my childhood trying to do painful exercises sometimes for hours just to please my mom. She would yell and scream and to be quite frank make me feel worthless. Maybe she meant well and I know under her harsh exterior it was probably out of love… but it scarred me. I was forced to push myself past physical limits for me as a young kid. Anyways I had surgery and I recovered. As a teenager I studied hard and I poured my soul into art and music. Today, as an adult (21) , I find myself at a crossroads. I’m studying in university and on top of that I’ve been pursuing my dreams as a music artist. I’ve had a few gigs and I’ve been growing my YouTube channel slowly(as I just started). Yet again I feel like I can never please her. Every phone call is “you don’t focus on ur studies” even though I passed three years flawlessly. “What are you doing there singing and coming up with silly dances” I had a producer and promoter message me that my boss had connected me to where she insisted that I was naive and foolish to believe someone was interested. “They are probably just lying to you “ I also got a few piercings (just on my ears) and two very easily concealed tattoos. And every time she would terrorize me about how ugly it was and how I was stupid and had nothing better to do then do this to my body . She’s called me every name under the sun. I try my best not to flaunt my music or my piercings and tattoos when I’m around her. But that’s the thing … this is me. Music is my passion and my appearance is just my choice and it is something that can be considered “work friendly”. I’m so tired everytime I pick up the phone it’s the same isssue on repeat and I’m always respectful. I’m so proud of myself and where I’ve come in life and studied and my passions. But my mom is a different story. I just don’t know what to do anymore.