Did being an atomized young man make you do anything weird?

not sure if I’m hitting my target audience here but I remember being 16-21 and very much cut off from normal people and their lives, I had no friends, gone down all the internet rabbit holes and convinced myself I was never going to get a girlfriend. school was boring and difficult so being the short sighted teenager I was I thought my life was over, so, I started doing various random dangerous stupid things.

Including but not limited too; being out from 12-5am doing graffiti, “”urban exploring””, skating around the empty streets, climbing radio towers and generally trying to get into secured/ prohibited areas.

I vividly remember most weekend nights I would get the train into the city and just people watch all the normal people going to clubs, drinking, partying, making out ect. I felt like this weird robot observer cursed to just witness what it’s like to be a human but never experience it. I was obviously very confused and angry so a lot of the time I would just look for trouble and find drunk people to annoy and/or start fights with until I got my face split open one night so I stopped doing that. I also tried street photography to capture these moments and the city at night but I was shit at it and gave up.

Obviously iv never told anyone I did any of this irl but wondering if this kinda behaviour is at least semi common? idk