Am I ‘26F’ overreacting about my fiancé’s ‘27M’ behavior with a female friend?

*Update at bottom

Ok, so for context, my fiancé and I are getting married in two months and we’ve been friends with this girl who joined his frisbee team for about three or four months. We were all out with the team for an end of season party and my fiancé was paying this girl a lot of special attention (sitting as far away from me at the table to talk to her and one other person). At one point, he got up to grab him and her a water but didn’t check in with me at all. That’s fine, I can get my own water, but definitely out of character. When we all got up to go, my fiance (who is crazy tall) told her his coat was the perfect size for the two of them (he’s constant pointing out how short and tiny she is). He proceeds to open his coat and invite her inside with him where he closes it and wraps her up. All of our friends stop talking and stare at me before laughing awkwardly when he lets her out.

Flash forward to later that evening at one of the teammates’ house. He puts her shoes inside his and makes another joke about how cute and small she is. Flash forward again to the bar we all go to. He buys her drink and opens his own tab instead of putting his drink on mine, orders for her, and repeatedly asks her if he can carry her stuff (she does have a sprained thumb) but she says she’s fine multiple times. At the end of the night, he invites her back to our house to crash because her uber home was going to be way too expensive that time of night but doesn’t ask me first (we end up having two other people stay too).

The next morning, he goes out to breakfast with her and the other two teammates but doesn’t come back until 11:30. That would be fine, but we were supposed to be at my best friend’s son’s birthday party at 10. After all of this, he acts like nothing is wrong and has since told me that I’m too jealous. But he’s also joining a soccer team now with her and two of our other friends??

It kind of feels like he has a crush on her but I don’t know if I’m overreacting or how I should bring it up without making it seem accusatory.

First, I want to sincerely thank you all for taking the time to read and respond to this. So many of you were incredibly kind, supportive, and validating, even when things were hard to hear. It truly means a lot to have people tell me I’m not only allowed to my feelings but right in them after spending so much energy trying to convince myself otherwise or being told I’m too sensitive or just insecure. I’m so grateful to you all.

Thank you for your patience waiting on the update. I tried to make a new post but for some reason, it wouldn’t accept the title, so I hope you’re able to find this update.

Since I made this post, I sat down and had a frank conversation with my fiancé. While he initially told me that I’m just insecure over women who are “smaller” than me (he since retracted that after I told him that I was upset over his actions, not insecure about myself compared to another woman) and he still thinks I was reading into things and the whole situation is “ridiculous,” he did eventually apologize. He also said that regardless of whether he understands the situation, the fact that I’m upset about it should be enough of a reason for him to be more cognizant of his behavior with other woman and how it might make me feel. I thanked him for his willingness to work on his behavior but told him that being understood is equally important to me. I don’t want to feel ridiculous to my partner.

At my request, we’ve decided to postpone the wedding for a year. In addition, he has agreed to do premarital counseling. For all of the ways that he is still learning to be a good partner, there are so many other ways that he already is. I don’t think I would forgive myself for giving up on that without really putting in the work. With that being said, I told him that I actually need to see that he’s willing to do that work with me because while I love him so much, I need to feel like he loves me that same way. And if he doesn’t, I need to choose to love myself that way. I guess we’ll see in a few months. I just hope I allow myself to see the situation for how it is moving forward, not how I want it to be.

Thank you all again for giving me the courage to take this step!