Really unsettling experience on the 5 toward Ocean Beach on my way home from work today

I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or just need to put this out there, but I can’t stop thinking about what happened on my bus ride home today, and it’s really bothering me.

I was on the 5 toward Ocean Beach, and when I got on, everyone was packed into the middle of the bus, even though there were seats in the back row. I figured someone was being rude or intimidating (I’m a 33 F who is pretty shy and non confrontational, but I hate bullies and try to make a point of at least sitting near them when other people are nervous to try to act as a buffer). So I went to the back to sit, and wow, I immediately understood why everyone was avoiding it.

There was a big man in full bulky camo, with tons of pockets and a heavy metal chain wrapped around his shoulders. His face and head were completely covered in black fabric. He had his legs spread out, taking up as much space as possible. It felt like he was intentionally creating this intimidating vibe.

I squeezed into the corner by the window anyway, and as soon as I did, he pulled out his phone and started blasting a video on speaker. It was some kind of alt-right video talking about 1776, and he kept muttering “that’s right!”, “yeah!” under his breath. His hand stayed near his hip pocket the whole time.

I can’t explain it, but I got this awful, gut-level fear that I couldn’t shake. When I looked around, most of the other passengers seemed uncomfortable, but it was more like confusion and annoyance than the panic I felt. All I could think about was ending up in one of the horrible attacks you read about in the news and not making it home to my husband and our 15-month-old son.

Eventually, I couldn’t take it. I got off the bus and walked a mile and a half home just to calm down. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I overreacted, but the whole thing felt so deliberate, like he knew exactly what kind of reaction he was getting and was feeding off of it.

With everything going on in the world lately, it’s hard not to feel on edge. I hate feeling this way because I don’t want people him to just get to scare and intimidate others for their own weird power trip. But it really got to me today.

I guess I just needed to get this out of my system. Anyone reading who was on that bus?