My(21M) bpd gf(20F) left me after I refused to continue to cut myself in front of her and get slapped

Sorry if the content is too graphic. My bpd girlfriend gets angry really easily. I don't even know why she got mad at me this time. We were talking on the phone and I was tired because of my part time job and I think that pissed her off? She threatened to break up and said that she hates me. I asked what happened but she wouldn't tell me, just kept insulting me. When she gets this angry she will always hit me and make me cut myself in front of her. This happened already a few times. I know it's wrong and I'm being abused but I still love her. I keep thinking about the good moments when I felt loved and happiness and I endure it. Yesterday I couldn't take it anymore and I asked her to stop slapping me. She got even madder and left and blocked me everywhere. Even though I'm being abused I'm sad and don't know what to do. I wish she cared more about me. I just want to spend time with her without any drama. To be honest I'm not even sure what advice i am looking for. I don't have anyone to talk about this. I just wished we had a normal relationship.