I’ve felt misunderstood my whole life and my new diagnosis helps explain why. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m different. No

I was recently diagnosed with severe inattentive ADHD. My therapist also has given me additional screening assessments to see if there is maybe something else going on with my neurodivergence. I don’t have any answers beyond ADHD yet. I’ve never felt like I fit in with most of the people around me. I always stick out like a sore thumb when I’m given any space to be myself. If I’m not 100% on my best behavior, something always shows through and people start to look at me weirdly.

It’s hard to mask all the time and I don’t thinking should have to. Why can’t I be myself without being ostracized by everybody? I’m put at arms length, nobody engages further than pleasantries no matter how much I’d like them to. It’s exhausting to keep trying so eventually I give up and keep to myself. I listen to music all day and don’t speak to most people unless I have to. I stop by a few people’s desks to chat but they never come to mine. Nobody makes any effort but me. It’s so tiring. I’d like to be thought of for once.

I am just so tired of trying and getting nowhere. How do people do this? My ADHD behaviors are part of me and I can’t really change the way I think, speak and behave other than cover them up which is so exhausting. I come home tired every day from just being. I’m lonely and tired of being pushed away for no reason other than I don’t quite fit into peoples idea of social norms.

I’m usually a lurker here on reddit. Kind of like in life I guess. On the fringe. Does anyone else struggle with fitting in at work with neurodivergence or know someone at work who struggles with it? I’m not sure what to do besides what I’ve done. For those of you who aren’t neurodivergent do you even recognize when someone is neurodivergent? Or do you just think they’re weird? Before I was diagnosed, I didn’t know what was wrong with me and I just thought I was broken. Now I know there’s a reason but so far it hasn’t helped me fix the problems.