4 months tomorrow

haven't cut in almost four months. and i'm not really happy about it. i'm thinking about how my mom is not involved with finding scholarships for me and gets upset and blows me off when i try to do something related to it. i'm just sad. i get sad when i think about how little i matter to her. i think she likes to forget i exist. she's probably excited for me to move 4 hours away. i don't like my mom but i still want her validation. i think i might relapse, i dunno