I left a toxic relationship but what now? I feel lonely and depressed and am starting from square one in all areas of my life.

Like the title says. I left a relationship that was emotionally, verbally and at times physically abusive with an alcoholic I was ‘madly in love’/trauma bonded with. It took tremendous courage to leave and start new. I stalled for months but I did it.

I sold or gave away most of my sons and my possessions. I moved my son and I into a studio apartment from a 3 bedroom gorgeous home I shared with my fiancé. I went into a tremendous amount of debt to get out and get a new place. I neglected my health for 2 years due to just paralysis when in this relationship. I am in the worst shape of my life (I was in the best shape of my life when I met him). He owes me a $1200 deposit still, I co signed a $12,000 loan for a surgery for him that I’m scared he just won’t pay. I moved back to where I’m from away from the city I moved to for him but need to find a job asap. My son has special needs and I need to place him in a school yesterday. And these decisions are just the tip of the iceberg I co-created.

I guess I’m just looking for encouragement and inspiration because the depression is consuming me and it’s making forward momentum very difficult. I am so thankful I am out of this situation but am also struggling with self loathing and loneliness and sadness. How do I completely overhaul my life in every area when it seems hopeless.