Why do we crave identity?

It seems that everyone around us wants to share their story, the contents that make up their identity... Even I fall into the trap of identity and even make spirituality and non-duality part of my identity. I'm over here like "yeah I'm a spiritual person I can see past the ego" and all that shit. That sounds egoic af and I recognize that. But what's the point of having an identity? It disappears after we die and it doesn't matter. And it's not like anyone else gives a shit. We care about ourselves most of all. Because we experience life through our own "selves" that we've conceptualized.

I'm drunk rn but I hope you all understand what I'm trying to say here. I'm struggling spiritually and would love some guidance to transcend the ego and the suffering it brings. At a point of desperation in my journey. Hope you lovely people are doing well