I quit the SP life - 2025 here I come!

I came to this decision for two main reasons.

The first was finally confronting myself in the mirror after years of living this life and practicing honesty – something I highly recommend to all of you. I realized that my personality would never align with the SP situation (at least as long as I’m CF, and I stand by that). I thrive on being in control, making decisions, and taking center stage. I thought I could live with certain compromises, but over time, the list grew – all to make life easier for BM and SKs – and somewhere along the way, I lost myself (which, I know, speaks to a partner issue).

I also came to understand that I was the one holding everything together. My sacrifices were essential on a daily basis, yet they offered me little to no sense of safety or rest.

The second reason was my dad being diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. I made a deal with the universe – if his results improved, I would leave the SP life. Thankfully, they did – though, in truth, I think I would have left regardless. My dad has been deeply worried about me, and I didn’t want him to carry that burden while facing his own illness. I couldn’t let him think I wouldn’t find happiness or security in the long run (and that I didn’t know how to stand up for myself).

Funny enough, everyone is upset (well BM is just happy SO is sad). SKs suddenly want me to stay, they now appreciate me (or my cooking) and they said they’re ready to have siblings. But much like their parents, it’s all talks and nothing would change.

So all in all: I’m 31 years old and I refuse to spend the next decade of my life in this situation - just to get eventually divorced because this life is not for me.