Achievement Unlocked: Sterile and Feral 🎊

WOO, what a day! Just now got settled into my cozy little bed and am now awake enough to do some typing and gushing, so get excited!

This procedure went so nicely, man. Happy to say y’all were absolutely right about being in good hands and a smooth procedure. Here’s how things went down.

Pre-op: About a week before surgery, pre-testing called for the pre-op consultation. Went over things like all my medications (a lot), whether I was showing signs of illness or came into contact with someone sick recently, who would be driving me to and from, basically everything. They gave me their number to call them up on if I had any questions. 3 days before my appointment,

I came in to pick up a thing of anti microbial soap and was told to shower with it once the night before, and once the morning of. I was worried the stuff would be atrocious smelling, but it actually wasn’t so bad! While I was at all this, I made sure I had all the indispensable supplies ready, and laundered my sheets and towels to keep them clean between my microbe nuking showers.

My god, were my nerves through the roof that night. Even then! Somehow managed 3 hours of sleep. I consider that a pretty big win.

Check in: My sister and I drove up to the hospital about 30 minutes before check in, cuz we’re both overachievers. Receptionist took down my info, ID, insurance card… A quick print of a stickyback hospital wristband, and I felt official. I also felt the anxiety starting to build, but that part was expected.

Waiting, questions and preparation up until surgery: I was actually surprised to see I had an entire room to myself! And with a TV! I guess my first surgery impression was that outpatient surgery clinic that put me under to remove some unnumbable plantar warts, and that was more like a huge room with dividers shared by multiple patients. This was already an elevation in the otherwise nerve wracking world of waiting for surgery.

My sister was there with me as I talked to my nurses, OBGYN, and anesthesia team, and got my IV installed after getting changed to hospital attire and giving a urine sample. I’m actually shocked the nurse got that IV done on the first try; I have my mom’s small, rolling, collapsing veins and typically have to get blood and IVs through the hand. The only gaffe on that part was the needles acting up on her about extracting for bloodwork and back flow. This part is morbidly funny to me, because she kept wiping at my hand saying ‘I am so sorry honey’ and I was totally distracted by something else. Third apology in and I was like ‘no no, do what you gotta do, you’re doing a great job-‘ and I looked down and saw my hand streaked with what had to have been a lot of blood and was like ‘oh’. It actually wasn’t any hugely distressing sight to me, I’m pretty well used to bloodwork and all that comes with it. I reassured that I was good and to proceed and she went ahead with the saline solution.

What fascinates me here is that the first injection of saline went in and I immediately smelled and tasted salty metal. No idea how that works but it’s near as hell.

A few signatures and paperwork later, it was time to huddle with my OBGYN surgeon and anesthesiologist team. I think that’s when the emotions really started coming. I was just so anxious, but they were so reassuring throughout the whole process, and were very accommodating of my questions and fears. My sister was also a huge comfort to have with me, and they were chill enough to let her follow me into the perioperative area before they began sedation and wheeling to the OR. Allowed me to ask whatever final questions they had and were so patient with me. I squeezed my sister’s hand, got a hug from her, and they gave me the first round of sedation. And it really does hit immediately and takes the edge of like everything.

I did get to see the OR, and man everything was like clockwork, and very sophisticated. Got onto the operating table and I was just looking up at all the machinery in a bit of a daze as they put the mask over my face and warned me I may feel a bit of a burning sensation from the propofol. My hands and feet started tingling. I didn’t even stay awake long enough to feel or know when they got to the burning part. Just an instantaneous lights out.

Recovery and discharge: One fear I had was that I would wake up before my ability to move or open my eyes did; that’s what happened when I had the wart procedure, and it freaked me out a bit.

But this was much different. It’s almost like I zipped from one room to another while I wasn’t looking. And I was groggy as anything and a bit sluggish, but I could see and move! I just laid there as the nurse assessed me going “Oh wow. Oh wow. Just like that. Wow.” She asked me if I was in pain, and I did feel that dull ache around my abdomen, but honestly not the worst. She gave me a little ice pad, which helped it feel more comfortable. I have 3 incisions, one at the belly button, and two on either side of my stomach. It’s still a little unreal to look at.

The biggest thing I felt was relief. Relief that it was already over and done, and relief that I never, ever have to live with the fear of pregnancy or childbirth in a state that would force me to go through it. I feel it. I went from being nervous and sort of like a scared dog to just. Total peace. I already knew this was worth every step in the process. I thanked every doctor that I could get the chance to see again, and got my ability to piss sorted before they discharged me and sent me on my way with my sister and best friend. We gabbed about bullshit the entire way to the pharmacy and back home.

I’m laying here resting in bed at the moment while I’m typing this all up. They did instruct me to get up and walk around every 2 hours to keep blood circulating. Wasn’t asked once about payment today, and the claim has yet to reflect on my insurance’s system, so I’m thinking I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

There’s still the cramp like achiness of the incisions, and my throat still hurts from being intubated, but I am just. Wow. This is relief that I haven’t felt in a long time.

Thank all of you so much for sharing your experiences and encouraging me throughout the process. It really helped keep me as level as possible, and prepared me for the recovery ahead.

Speaking of: I’m about due for a nap. Let the resting up begin!