Time

Im hitting 2 weeks tomorrow and I’m having these intrusive thoughts. I had been so busy the last few weeks that it seemed easier to silence the urge. But now things are not as crazy and I find my mind wandering. I chose not to buy any today but my mind keeps telling me that if I’m going to do it again it’s best to do it now because I only have a few weeks and the further I get the more devastating it would be. Stupid, I know. Ugh. Why. Why brain??!

Deep down I don’t want to go back. I like being sober. My last relapse lasted three days and it was worse than the one before. I’m terrified of what May happen if I go back. I’m so sick of the pull. I hate the first 3 days the most. Anyone else experience this reasoning when having smaller amounts of time?