John

John takes a moment before he gets up and stretches. He looks around and sees nothing but the same 4 way intersection and flat grass fields in all four directions. He’s been at this bus stop for hours waiting so he can go home. Home, couches, TV, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bed. His work nearly has all those things as well. But this apartment is his own, as long as he pays rent. It’s easy having to provide for yourself. It’s easy to cater to your own company. But, I guess that’s the point of having company around. Because it’s just uncomfortable enough to be interesting.

It was nice at first to be able to play games for hours on end, watch all those shows with no baggage, no worry what someone else would think of what you’re watching. But now that it’s been 5 years, John is coming to realize that maybe he should get out more. Although, the problem with that is who would he talk to? 5 years of isolation would definitely mean he’s a bit rusty socially, wouldn’t it? I mean, to be “social” requires some skill and John wouldn’t really. . .

“Where’s the bus?” John thinks to himself, as it’s been a while since he’s said anything aloud. “Shouldn’t it be here by now?” Once again, he looks both ways and sees nothing but road and grass. 

He was able to get off work early today. It’s a nice day actually. Sunny with some clouds, a slight breeze. John has been practicing to notice the little things. Actually John does nothing but notice little things. He definitely has the time for it. So then why is he in such a hurry for this bus? It is rather odd that a bus would take so long when you’re supposed to follow a schedule. The bus is supposed to get here at 12:30 and it's. . .

“Looks like I forgot my watch again.” Again. . . Funny thing is, John lost his watch 3 months ago. But, at this point there is little reason to get a real watch when you can depend on muscle memory. “It would be nice to have something to know how much time is wasted at this bus stop when I could be having so much free time. It feels like hours. How long has it been?” John is upset and leaves the bus stop. 

John starts walking home and takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. He does not like feeling agitated. He remembers in school when his teachers would always get after him for being so angry. The scowls, the look of disapprovement. No one truly understood. Hell, not even John understood. But what did they all not understand exactly? John supposes that THAT was the key as to why he has become so. . stable. Maybe if John had learned to master his emotions and not simply manage them he could have been more of something. Why had John not learned to master his emotions? At least they are managed. “I managed them so that I could get a stable job.” John dwells on the state of his life up until this point. . . 

John looks back. Grass. John looks forward. Grass. At this point he’s not quite sure how he gets home everyday. He was sure it was this direction. But he never pays any real attention to what he’s doing at this point. “I have no reason to pay attention. What would I pay attention to?” With every step, John becomes more worried that he doesn’t know where he’s going and on top of that, John doesn’t know how long he’s been walking “Damn watch.” John turns around and starts heading back to the bus stop. 

Within no clear amount of time, John arrives back at the bus stop. But something’s not right. The bus stop is on the other side of the road from where he’s walking. “Strange, I don’t remember crossing the street.” Although to be fair, John doesn’t remember a lot of things. John crosses the street and sits down. He looks around again and gets a funny feeling. “Which way does the bus go?” John asks himself. He knows that the bus has to go right to pick him up. However, he has a faint memory of the bus making a U-turn at a roundabout to go to another stop to pick up across the street before it goes to his house. But, he also remembers that the bus may have not done a full U-turn and perhaps it was just ¾ of a U-turn. Which ends up just being a left turn. 

It has felt like half an hour of walking. John recognizes where he is because it’s the same landscape as the bus stop. It’s familiar because the land looks as though it’s been copied and pasted. John decides he should probably head back, since he doesn’t want to miss the bus. Once again, time passes and John finds the bus stop in an unfamiliar location within the intersection. At this point, John figures he just remembered it incorrectly. He sits and waits for an indistinguishable amount of time. 

While thinking, he vaguely remembers his boss mentioning that this week was going to be a 3 day weekend for some reason. Although, he is having trouble remembering if today was Thursday exactly or Wednesday. He checks his calendar and sees that he hasn’t used it for the last 2 weeks. “Hm, does that mean I don’t need to go to work tomorrow?” He shrugs it off and waits a little longer. Time goes by and then John becomes impatient. “I am going to pick a direction and walk until I find something!” John gets up and wonders which direction he should take. He could go back to work. Although, his office at this point is probably empty as everyone already left. “Did we leave early because of the 3 day weekend?” It would make sense if it was true. But, John doesn’t usually commit to ideas unless he knows they are true. John picks the road to the left.

Roughly he thinks about half an hour passes. His legs are tired from all the walking and he sits on the ground for a second. “It’s beautiful outside. I just wish I knew how to enjoy it.” He runs his fingers through the grass and notices the sun. It’s lower now. About where it would be if he got out of work at his normal time. He takes that as a sign he should go back and wait for the bus. It should definitely come at the same time as it always does. John walks back.

When he gets to the bus stop, John sits down and thinks to himself once again. He remembers that the bus was once late last week and so that’s probably what’s happening right now. As time passes, the sky gets dark. It’s a warm summer night. John moved here because of the weather.

Not knowing where to go, John decides it's best if he sleeps. He lays on the bench, closes his eyes, and drifts away.

The sound of an engine roaring and air brakes wakes John up. The morning bus arrived and it’s time for John to go home. John gets on and leaves. “Finally” John thinks to himself. The bus takes off. John looks out the window and zones out. “At least I can get back to my routine.”