I’ve hung up my heels

After months of unsuccessfully sticking to a home club, or any club in general, I have settled into a new life that no longer seeks strip clubs. It’s a bit bittersweet, but I’ve also learned a lot. I have now switched to camming, with a part time job on the side, and never realized how much more happier this type of digitalized work can be. It’s definitely not the same money as the clubs, at least not so far, but the fact that I can stand on my boundaries without getting in trouble is amazing. It’s worth the cut in pay. I have also realized now just how harmful the club lifestyle was to my mental health. I was always comparing myself to others, and would feel beaten and worn by people’s hurtful projections. The types of people that clubs draw in are usually toxic, and it took some time away to see that. I no longer have to feel the pressure of trying to conform to what I think others expect of me. I no longer have to have those, “so, where are you from?” boring ass conversations. I can now preserve so much more energy. I no longer have to deal with girls’ playing favorites and down right sabotaging each other just to have the best treatment from management. If I could do anything differently from my past, it would definitely be not getting so drunk that I lose my own sense of self worth. Anyways, this post isn’t meant to discourage or make people feel like shit about being dancers, it’s just a post for me and anyone who gives a shit to read and tag along. I also never thought I would ever make this post, but here I am. Maybe I will come back to the clubs at some point, but for now I feel like I’m not depending on it(which is new to me).