I went from 16mg to 4mg in a month.

Long story short emotionally subs weren’t helping me and I was getting very suicidal. I did all the stuff and things, therapy, more meetings, sleeping better, eating better, etc. Nothing was helping and it all pointed back to subs, so I figured after 8 years it was time. I just prefer a faster taper I guess, idk I feel more determined and the pain makes me remember why I never want to go through this again. You do you boo, I’m not gonna say go fast or go slow. You know you better than anyone else.

I went from 16mg to 12mg, 12mg to 8mg, 8mg to 6mg, and 6mg to 4mg. I think I’m gonna go to 3mg next and go a little slower. Ngl this last one kind of hurt. I understand why people say it comes in waves. I’ll feel just fine then all of a sudden for 20 mins I get fatigue and sad. Then I’m good for a while again then it hits again. I hate the fact that I can’t anticipate it more than anything. My initial jump from 16mg to 12mg was the one that hurt the second most. More so mentally but I got the waves on that one too.

Overall it hasn’t been that bad. I was reading comments and posts about how bad it was gonna be and quite frankly it’s mild. I learned to just listen to my body because it’s mine and theirs is theirs. The random fatigue is the worst part and the tension headaches too. I haven’t experienced any nausea, vomiting, shaking, soreness, etc. I am slightly confused it hasn’t been worse though. When I came off H my withdrawals were very mild as well. Maybe it’s a gaba thing (based on what I’ve heard). My anxiety has always been terrible and I have a lot of childhood trauma, I’ve experienced every kind of abuse and abandonment. I’ve always hated what I went through but maybe it’s helping me now idk. Last thing I’d like to mention, after going through this taper in the last month I believe I metabolize medications faster. The withdrawals hit me on day 2 and kind of day 3. By day 4 I’m fine. To be honest I’d rather have that than have it drag out.

I’m hoping to be sub free in the next 45 days, once again I’m gonna take it a little slower from here on out. I’ve been reducing every week so I think I got this! I’ll come back to update once I’m free. The last thing I want to say is this is just my decision, if you feel like you need to stay on subs or if you want to come off, do what you want. You know what’s best for you and there’s no shame in staying on them and you’re not better than anybody else for getting off them. We all are here for opiate abuse and most of us don’t make it this far.